It’s never an easy decision to get a divorce, even if it’s clear that it’s the right thing to do. The emotional upheaval is huge, and when there are children involved or a lot of years between you, it can be even harder. Yet it’s far more difficult to stay in a relationship that is over; your happiness and emotional health have to be considered, and once the initial hardship is over, both of you can go on with your lives and become better people because of it.
That, of course, doesn’t necessarily help in the here and now. Right now, you need to put a plan in place that will allow you to think of everything you need to consider if you plan on getting a divorce. Read on to get an idea of some of the essential elements to bear in mind.
Find a Divorce Attorney
If you want your divorce to go as smoothly as possible and be over as quickly as possible with minimal disruption for all involved, you’ll need to engage a good divorce attorney. Look for anattorney with plenty of experience in cases just like yours, and make sure that you speak to more than one; you’ll want to get a variety of opinions, and you’ll need to be comfortable with whomever you choose. After all, you’ll be working closely together, so you have to be able to communicate at the very least.
Once you have a good attorney, you’ll need to check through any prenuptial agreements that might be in place and carefully go through all your assets so they can be documented. There are different rules regarding these assets depending on when you acquired them, if they were inherited, and so on. Your business, if you have one, will also need to be considered. Make sure you list these things out in advance to make the task easier when the time comes.
Do
You Need a Job?
The formalities of the divorce are one thing, and if you have a good attorney, they will be able to work through your assets and come up with a plan that everyone – hopefully – agrees with. However, you also need to think of your life after your divorce; how will you make money?
If you already work, this issue may not be an important one. However, what if you have to pay maintenance to your ex-spouse or your children? Will your job be enough? Will you need a second job, or should you look for something new? If you haven’t got a job because you’re a stay-at-home mom or dad, will you need to look for work to help you with your finances? This is a crucial point that you’ll need to figure out early on in the process.
Think
About Your Children
Staying in a relationship for your children is never a good idea; it will just make you and your spouse unhappy, and those feelings will trickle down to the smallest family members. It will make them stressed and anxious, and it may even affect how they deal with relationships in the future.
Yet, just because you need to split for yourselves and no one else, that doesn’t mean the children aren’t an important consideration in the divorce too. You will have to work out custody, for example, and you’ll need to ensure that the situation is not traumatic for them. This means staying civil with your partner even if you’re angry; after all, the children’s relationship with them will remain even when yours is over, and you don’t want to destroy that.
